Marriage is one relation that all dream of beginning and most repent on getting married. Some unfortunate end up in a divorce. When told to look back at their lives, they realize they did not work to keep their marriage alive. OK, now you must be saying it’s a relationship not a job but, fact is you need to make the ends meet and for that boss you need to work.
The beginning years are a bliss. Your spouse is the love of your life and you want no one else but, after a few years you start feeling your friends are more lucky than you. Once telling to take out the trash was welcomed but, now even asking to pass the bread could cause a rift. Yes, at times the reason of such outbreaks from the spouse side is relevant. Your spouse has just come from work and you tell them to do a chore or you come home and tell your wife to do some work. Here, it is very important for you to consider before you speak. After all working the whole day at work or at home is hectic and on certain days incidents can be cause for bad mood swings.
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Then come the children, for whom you and your spouse are working so hard. All the days work and then the kids. Being overly tired is understandable and finding time for just the two of you, can be next to impossible. Before you know it, you’re either sleeping alone or do not recognize who’s sleeping with you. If this is your story then fear not, there is still hope for you.
The Three C’s-survive or drown
Though you might get alot of advice from your near and dear ones but, most of your issues can be solved by understanding the Three C’s of a marriage. Compatibility, Communication and Commitment. Now let’s review how these effect your marriage.
In arranged marriages you really don’t have options as your newly-to-be is usually the choice of your parents or a relative. And, in love marriages, well the heart chooses. The dilemma in most marriages and perhaps the most common cause for rifts is- thinking your spouse is not compatible with you or has changed. Before you think of your spouse being compatible, think are you compatible for your spouse. As for change, change for good if not better. If there is an issue in your or your spouse’s mind ask or solve the issue cause delay only makes matters worse.
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Till your honeymoon and the beginning days of your daily routine you and your spouse will want to talk with each other the whole day. But, after a few years you end up on just good morning-hi-good night. Calls from your spouse during work or during home chores starts irritating you. If the communication gap has increased or is close to none then the siren is blasting on full amplified volume sounding danger. Never let a communication gap come between your relationship. If your spouse is not talking ask what’s the issue and try to solve it and if you are under any pressure, don’t neglect your spouse. Be it any reason, no reason is bigger than your relationship.
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The vows taken during your marriage are mere words but, if you read them and really understand them they mean a lot. Once you get married to a person you are bound in a relationship of commitment that is nourished by trust, caring, being their at all times and most of all-time love. You can’t expect your spouse to do all the work. You both have agreed to marry and now both of you have to make the relationship work. It’s very easy to get angry and say let’s separate but, separation is not the solution especially if you have kids.
Once you have married someone, he/she should be your life. Love them for who they are and not how they look. Be compatible for your spouse, indulge in your spouse’s routine and commit yourself to your relationship no matter what happens. High tides are bound to rise in an ocean occasionally but, peaceful sun rises and sun sets are seen daily. Swim in the ocean of your love marriage and be happy.